Zeke Thunderstone (Hiatus)

Character Profile
Zeke Thunderstone

Age: 16
Ethnicity: Southern American
Allegiance: Good Guys
Origins: Magic User
Powers: Fire Aspect - Can make weapons, such as swords, arrows and knives, burst into flames (Medium)
Blink - Can teleport 1-15 feet at maximum power. (Medium)
Weapons: The "Somtimes" bow. It's just a wooden bow. He's running short of arrows these days. His steel sword, which is just a steel sword, other than it not melting with heat.
Appearance:

He has brown shaggy hair and white skin, he is average height for his age. He normally wears an extremely dark blue jacket and blue jeans.
Strengths: Can remember everything since developed, Age 5, and detail everything perfectly. Is faster than normal people. Is very good with a sword.
Weaknesses: Has ADHD which can be horrible at times. Hates loss of other things especially people, having lost his mother. Is not very good with tech-knowledge.
Personality: Is very smart and when it comes to jokes he's more than cheesy. He is great at drawing and loves living in the country and traveling the forest. If you meet him you'd barely get to talk because he can be a know-it-all. He also has a temper when it comes to art or anything he creates. Also, he will get mad at you if you use any improper grammar he can catch.
History: Was born and raised on a farm by his dad, Luke. When he was born his dad, mom and his older brother moved to Townsville because they were losing money and his dad needed to be near his job. His mom died in a car wreck when he was four and still keeps her bow which has 'Somtimes' engraved on it. Everyday once he got home he'd walk into the woods near his house and hunt deer and/or doves. He went to school where he was considered "Unpopular", but still had a few friends. One of his friends was Aiden who was extremely "Unpopular", but to them popularity would be worse then not being popular. Another was Sarah who liked it when he was around but he had no idea. He once raced a kid that was in track 3 grades ahead of him and won. Luke had powers and abilities like Zeke too, including photographic memory and speed. He also had his differences such as he was better with a bow than sword and couldn't Blink. He had one brother and one sister who I will not mention because they would take to long. Now his friends came over to his house to go into there woods and walk around, of course they did bring weapons just in case.
Do you use Nanos? No

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(This is just stuff for me, that I'd like to keep with the sheet. The sample text is for if I stop roleplaying for a while and want to start back up I'll have a slight idea of how I used this character, and I like to use music to get me into the mood for stuff.)

Sample Text: After chuckling, Zeke said, "Nice joke, Im Zeke, you?"
Normal Theme: (Not found.)
Battle Theme: (Not found.)

Not enough information Psy. The Origins has to be Human, Demon, EVO, Magic user, etc.  He needs Strengths and Weaknesses. His appearance tell us nothing either. Please look this over https://fusionfall7322.forumotion.com/t297-the-oc-form

Not enough information.

Can I change the title or did I miss something?

Alright, it still needs work. First of all, your character can't talk to animals. Your character can know several languages (Spanish, Japanese, French, etc.). If your character is Texan, then he's Southern American. You still need to flesh him out a little bit more. Like having two more weaknesses and changing your strengths. Speed is a strength, but it isn't as strong as strength. And clarify that he's faster then most humans if you keep it in. For memory, I'm a little iffy on it. Good memory would be a strength, but you might need to rethink that a little bit. Overall, it just needs a little bit more.

techee wrote:Alright, it still needs work. First of all, your character can't talk to animals. Your character can know several languages (Spanish, Japanese, French, etc.). If your character is Texan, then he's Southern American. You still need to flesh him out a little bit more. Like having two more weaknesses and changing your strengths. Speed is a strength, but it isn't as strong as strength. And clarify that he's faster then most humans if you keep it in. For memory, I'm a little iffy on it. Good memory would be a strength, but you might need to rethink that a little bit. Overall, it just needs a little bit more.

Any ideas for how I would do this?

You need to add in a personality for him. He feels flat. Knowing multiple languages isn't a power, its a talent. Blink would just be normal teleportation. He needs to have one more weakness that makes sense. Hates to lose...what does this do? Does he lose him temper?

You need more vices in the personality, he can't be a sue.

Fixed! Thanks for definition of "sue".

He's looking better I have to say, just drop the weapons part.

He looks fine, thought I would like a tiny bit more added to history.

I'll give you a tentative accept.

Same here.

2 down 2 to go... Wheres Amp????

I am Amp. Don't think about it too hard.

*Thinking*

I realize it was Zero sometimes

1 to go

I'll be your final accept. Character looks decent.