Zeytran, the Teen-Demon

Name: Zeytran

Age: 2,000 (mentally a teen to an adult, it fluctuates)

Ethnicity: Vampire

Race (If your OC is an alien): Vampire

Allegiance: Villains

Origins: Demon

Powers: Magic

He can also teleport in a flurry of snow. The distance varies between a five inch radius to a 20 feet radius at a time. He can, at max distance, travel maybe twice, if at 10 feet then maybe three times. Each max teleport drains him, and he could eventually pass out if he does it twice at max radius. Maybe five teleports when not on max before draining.

Cryokinesis: Zeytran can produce ice/snow/cold temperatures, and manipulate them

A Heart of Stone, a Body of Cold: High, Zeytran can turn his entire body into pure ice and snow, allowing him to either escape fluidly, surround a foe and freeze them or assimilate more ices/snow. This ability can quickly kill small animals, such as rodents with relative ease, and can cause hypothermia and frostbite to targets, potentially even death if they do nothing.

Winter's Bliss: High, Zeytran can use the power of ice to heal himself, absorbing frozen energies and using them to freeze molecules, renewing damaged cells, causing them to stop bleeding. He can then use a patch of ice to act as a band-aid

Frost Breath: Low, Zeytran can create a low frosty ice with his breath, freezing things. This lasts until he has to inhale again.

Blizzard, Medium, Zeytran can, with a gesture, channel his cold power into a flurry of snow and ice, the cold winds of the north capable of pushing people back if so desired (if they are close). It lasts around 1-2 minutes.

Appearance: Zeytran has pale white skin, like that of fresh snow. His eyes are purple, turning into a white color when he's angry. He's got two large, white, angelic wings, sprouting from his back. He regularly wears simple clothing, a pair of jeans, sneakers, t-shirt and hoodie. His hair is light, pale blue with streaks of white, with a very light pink tint.

Strengths: Zeytran is a strong manipulator of others. Zeytran is physically fit, aside from the typical super strength, he is extraordinarily fast, able to span distances quickly. Zeytran is also very knowledgeable about many things, being incredibly smart. Zeytran is also easily adaptable to where he is, able to pick up things like customs quickly and smoothly, allowing him to adapt to his location and the time period he's in much faster than many demons; if he were to stay in the underworld for 200 years, he could adapt to the new upperworld in about 5 minutes as an example.

Weaknesses: Zeytran is weak near sources of great heat. Zeytran is also extraordinarily lazy, preferring to delegate things to other people. Zeytran is also whiny when he doesn't get his ways, and very immature, making him more single-minded and it detracts from his manipulative behavior. He also cannot resist Ice Cream, it is one of the few things that can instantly distract him. He's also less able to take a hit, but he can still take them, just not as well.

Personality: Zeytran is immature at times, throwing fits when he doesn't get his way, or if insulted. Zeytran is slow to anger, and when he does become angry, he harnesses the full brunt of it. Zeytran attempts to not lie, but he will if he has to. He is also at least, hesitant to go against other demons.

Zeytran, despite that all, is very deceptive by nature, suggesting one thing, but meaning the other. He's sly and cunning, with a penchant for manipulating. It's one of his hobbies. Zeytran is somewhat patient, willing to give his mortal acolyte extensions of his required tasks. Zeytran is cold, malicious and not all that cheerful.

Zeytran does have some sense of humor, as he, despite generally not liking humans, does find that they have good humor, and he enjoys a good laugh. Unless it's about him. He's very prideful, and if he feels insulted will either bring his full wrath out, patiently wait to torture you, or just plain leave.

History: Zeytran came from a long line of powerful mages in the Underworld. One day, Zeytran was being bullied particularly hard. Annoyed and frustated, Zeytran took out his frustration by gouging the eyes out of one of his bullies, and beating the other one up, who was relatively weak without his companion.

Zeytran's family began to pressure him into learning magic, specifically Pyro or Noctem, the two magics their family had an affinity to. Zeytran continued to be bullied, although his brother eventually murdered the bullies by flaying them alive. Zeytran tried to learn Soul based magic, much to his family's disdain. Zeytran, overcome with frustration at his inability to use soul magic, quit and he pursued other interests, such as elemental magic, he then discovered Sound Magic through his Elemental Magic studies, and was fascinated! While most of his family would study Pyro or Noctem, he decided to be different and study Sound Magic, to make himself an individual.

Zeytran gained a "friend" by the name of Notus. They spent months training and learning, before Notus started to pressure him to be rude to others around 2 months later, and, eager to impress his only 'friend', did these things. His family pressured him to study Noctem or Pyro and give up Sound Magic, to which he refused. They disowned him as a result, feeling he would 'tarnish their reputation'. He took an interest in Cryomancy, the art of Ice Magic, unlike Notus' fire. Zeytran bottled up his emotions of resentment, anger and bitterness over the disownment, which slowly festered.

Notus all the while, was manipulating Zeytran to become hateful and despise the world yet be loyal to Notus. Notus tried to break Zeytran's innocent nature, but during a fight between the two (around a year after they became 'friends'), that's when Zeytran learned his special talent: He naturally gives off an alluring aura, and if that wasn't enough, he could focus it enough into a charm voice, through intense concentration. Later, Notus tried to pursue Zeytran, in which they ended up arguing. Zeytran, fed up with it all, attacked Notus angrily, giving into doubt. Zeytran failed and fled, of course. He felt extremely guilty at attacking Notus, so he disappeared from the underworld. Zeytran wandered around for a time, at least a thousand years, before the war started.

During a few of his travels, Zeytran had a meltdown, in which he remembered Notus' advice, and thoughts on mortals, and a more sadistic nature took full control and he had begun a murder spree, and massacred entire towns(not large one). During another of his travels, Zeytran met a mortal, who, in a moment of kindness, Zeytran allowed to ask him three questions. Shortly afterwards, he continued his murder spree. When cornered by the police, Zeytran panicked and learned he could teleport around. He managed to kill the cops, freezing them to death.

He met Demongo shortly after, maybe a week after. Demongo was hunting a powerful new warrior to collect for Aku, and Zeytran became intrigued by the soul collector. Proceeding to carefully follow Demongo, the soul stealer nonchalantly made it obvious to Zeytran that he knew that Zeytran was following him.

Zeytran asked Demongo why he had allowed him to follow the soul stealer, which Demongo replied "I see potential in you." Unknown to Zeytran, Demongo had seen Zeytran's rampage and was mildly impressed. Demongo began to do what Notus had attempted, but in a different manner, attempting to gain Zeytran's full trust, to bring the demon under the employment of Aku.

Zeytran watched with amazement at the proficiency in which Demongo utilized soul magic, the seed of doubt which Notus had placed so long ago began to grow into resentment and jealousy. Zeytran did not lead on that he was upset or jealous.

During a spat with Demongo, Zeytran got so annoyed he attacked Demongo with his powerful ice magic. Zeytran became remorseful and fled in shame almost instantly.

A few years later, Zeytran encountered his first fusions, still in the Upper World. Zeytran didn't know much about fusions and initially thought they were cool, till they started attacking him. That's when he was dismayed to learn that his bard powers didn't affect Fusions, as their fusion matter was capable of resisting it. So he froze them to death, the ice encasing them, which he then shattered, killing the fusions.

After killing the fusions, Zeytran proceeded left, going back to the Underworld.

Do you use nanos: Nope

Kiss of death is out man. It's an instakill and that's a big old no.

So he's fit, being fast and strong and he is good at manipulating others, what is his 3rd strengthen?


Zeytran is also whiny when he doesn't get his ways, and very immature. How is this a weakness? This is a personality trait and doesn't show how it is detrimental to him.

Zeytran can produce ice/snow/cold temperatures, and manipulate it.

Expand on this. To what extent can he manipulate temperature? How cold can he make it?

Sonic Shockwave, High, Zeytran will focus Sonic power into a concussive blast(drains a lot of energy). Sonic is Sound, he make a concussive shockwave. It can propel those within the 5 feet radius to stumble, maybe even fall. Drainage is dependent on how much energy is used.

How does this relate to the cold/ice/snow? If he can do this, that would make him a shaman, which means he can't have high level spells.

Charm Voice, Medium, Zeytran can combine Sonics with his natural alluring nature into a Charm Voice, which can influence decisions sometimes however Zeytran tends to use this often, it is essentially a Bard's power except named different.

This is a high level spell, and can only be performed by a Bard. Manipulation of people is something that takes a lot out of the user. It isn't something that anyone can do and just claim is something different from the bard's skill. Again, if he has sound and ice magic, he's a shaman. If he's a shaman, he can't have high level spells. If he's not, then one of those elements have to go.

Kiss of Death: Zeytran can kill another with a breathtaking kiss,

No. A move that can kill anyone is absolutely not allowed.

Strengths: Zeytran is a strong manipulator of others. Zeytran is physically fit, aside from the typical super strength, he is extraordinarily fast, able to span distances quickly.

What's strength number three? He's good at manipulation and the physical traits can all be pushed into one strength.

Zeytran is also extraordinarily lazy, preferring to delegate things to other people. Zeytran is also whiny when he doesn't get his ways, and very immature.

These are traits. Explain how they are weaknesses.

Personality: Zeytran is immature at times, throwing fits when he doesn't get his way, or if insulted. Zeytran is slow to anger, and when he does become angry, he harnesses the full brunt of it. Zeytran attempts to not lie, but he will if he has to. He is also at least, hesitant to go against other demons.

Why does he not like lying? If he's good at manipulation, then he should have no qualms over doing it. Why is he hesitant to go against other demons?

Zeytran, despite that all, is very deceptive by nature, suggesting one thing, but meaning the other. He's sly and cunning, with a penchant for manipulating. It's one of his hobbies. Zeytran is somewhat patient, willing to give his mortal acolyte extensions of his required tasks. Zeytran is cold, malicious and not all that cheerful

So he doesn't like lying, but has all the traits that a liar needs to be effective? Furthermore, it's one of his hobbies? How does that make sense? Also, if he isn't nice, why does he have a problem with lying? He doesn't care if he hurts someone's feelings, so he should have no problems doing it.

In the Underworld, there were two inseparable "friends": Demongo and Zeytran. One day, Demongo saw Zeytran being bullied and taking pity secretly thinking he had potential as a servant, decided to help him out with his souls, Zeytran thanked Demongo and started to follow Demongo around, asking to hang out. Demongo, tired out by his persistence, agreed to shut him up.

First off, Demongo never lived in the Underworld. This instance would never happen because Demongo would never be just randomly strolling about the Underworld. The only reason he would be there is official business, and since he can teleport, he can leave as soon as he's done.
Demongo also wouldn't care if someone was being bullied. He'd probably laugh at them and be on his way if he did see this. I'm also not clear what this means:

decided to help him out with his souls,

Who's helping who exactly, and what do you mean with his souls?

Demongo started to pressure him to be rude to others and, eager to impress his only 'friend', did these things. His family pressured him to study Noctem or Pyro and give up Sound Magic, to which he refused. They disowned him as a result, feeling he would 'tarnish their reputation'. He took an interest in Cryomancy, the art of Ice Magic, unlike Demongo's fire.

So, after being disowned (which should also be expanded upon, how did he feel? Did this impact his life greatly? What was his relationship with his family?) he thought it was a good idea to dig an even deeper hole with the family by learning yet another magic that isn't prevalent in his lineage? How does that make sense? Also, why did he pick ice?

Demongo all the while, was manipulating Zeytran to become hateful and despise the world yet be loyal to Demongo. Demongo tried to break Zeytran's innocent nature, but during a fight between the two, that's when he learned his special talent: He naturally gives off an alluring aura, and if that wasn't enough, he could focus it enough into a charm voice, through intense concentration. Later, Demongo tried to pursue Zeytran, in which they ended up arguing. Zeytran, fed up with it all, attacked Demongo angrily, giving into doubt. Zeytran failed and fled, of course. He felt extremely guilty at attacking Demongo, so he disappeared from the underworld. Zeytran wandered around for a time, before the war started.

Demongo works for Aku, not himself. He is blindly loyal to the demon as well. He would craft anyone to be the tool of Aku, not his own personal servant. Also, I noticed you used later, and a time a lot, but you don't actually elaborate how long anything takes. Does this all happen in a day? Five minutes? Years and years? Give a general timeframe for each event.

Zeytran didn't know much about fusions and initially thought they were cool, till they started attacking him. That's when he was dismayed to learn that his Charm Voice didn't affect Fusions, as their fusion matter was capable of resisting it.

And then what? The way this is formatted, there should be more to the story, but there isn't.

@Zerowing21
I'll replace Kiss of Death with something else.

Um, that is three? He's strong. Fast. Manipulative.

I see personality traits can be detrimental, and he's really whiny, but I can fix this.

@Kaiser
I think he can make things cold enough to cause you to see your breath, like maybe below 0. I'm not sure...

It doesn't? I was thinking he could specialize in two things. I was meshing original Zeytran with Daniel 'Boreas' Phoenix. Both demons. Can't there be like a specialty of two?

Zeytran is bard, always has, and always will be a Bard, most likely.

You mean I can't have Ice and Sound?


Oh they can be pushed into one? Okay, I'll fix it up.

When I say lazy, I mean incredibly lazy. He's not motivated to do anything, and that's more of a weakness, to me? His immaturity can also cause him to get into danger more easily.

Zeytran doesn't like lying, because he was lied to. But with manipulation, to him, you're really good if you can trick people without lying.

He wouldn't want to go against other demons, probably because quite a few of them could beat the snot out of him if they tried.

Zeytran tries not to lie. He will if needed, but he would prefer not to. Demongo, for example, lied to him to manipulate him, so Zeytran is setting himself apart from other demons who will lie often.


The History: (Fyi, I copy/pasted and slightly edited the one that got approved)
Are you sure Demongo never lived in the Underworld? Because, I'm positive the Pit of Hate is synonymous to the Underworld.

No. Demongo was pretty darn wimpy, and according to logic I think you even used, he would've taken pity, that's reasonable, as pre-series he seemed pretty dang wimpy.

I mean Zeytran tried to get more souls for Demongo...heh...

Being Disowned I can expand upon.. And yeah, why not? They already were against him, why not piss them off even further? Also, I think he was drawn to Ice magic, like he was drawn to Sound magic.

I can add more time-frames. But, I think that Demongo, as a demon, is probably cunning enough to think why not get my personal dude. I agree he's loyal, but, still..

Then he froze them, which worked.

Also, the old Zeytran had White Fire control as well as Sound, so I don't see why Ice and Sound can't work? The history is legit copy/pasted but I removed the multiple personalities. You guys are starting to confuse me :S

If he's a shaman, he can only have one spell of an element. So no two sound or ice spells.

Demongo is pretty much loyal to Aku and would never have a minion of his own.

He's not a shaman, he's a vampire. I'm just curious, why can't he learn two different magics? What if the Charm Voice was more persuasion, not really "Do it" type of deal, but instead like suggestion...

That's so not what was said last time >_< then how can I "fix" it..because the Demongo thing is one of the main things of Zeytran.

In order to fix this, you have to understand how demongo works. yes, he was a one shot villain in the show, but just from that he's shown to be loyal up til he dies. He would never take on a minion of his own since that would be disrespectful to his master. He would probably recruit for Aku, but never himself.

So if you want to fix it, remember how much hold Aku has on Demongo and edit accordingly by having Zaytran be tricked by Demongo to work for Aku.

Done.

I honestly think Demongo shouldn't have been a one-shot, he had so much potential, and was Aku's "right hand man" type of deal...Shame...

Done and done, although Zeytran would probably think of it as "I serve Demongo, who serves Aku. Easy peasy." While Demongo would probably think

"He will now serve Aku." Or, potentially "He serves me, but I serve Aku, therefore he serves Aku."

Heh.

Demongo would never really think of anyone serving him, just his master.

as for the shamen thing, that is a class of magic that we have. Use up to 4 element types, no high levels and can only have 1 of each element. So no two ice abilities. This is what Shadow is saying with the shamen.

If you want him to use sound, then have him be a spoony bard (alright too much ff5 for me) and drop the ice powers. If you want him to be ice, then drop the sound powers, but he can still be a bard without having the sound abilities.

He's not a shaman, he's a vampire. I'm just curious, why can't he learn two different magics? What if the Charm Voice was more persuasion, not really "Do it" type of deal, but instead like suggestion...

Because the description of the shaman school of magic is literally:

Elementalist/Shaman- You're able to use many different type of elements, but since your a master of none, you can't have high powered attacks nor can you have two spells of the same element.

and the basic description of schools:

Schools- This is your magical affinity. If you are a fire user, you from from the School of Pyro. This accounts for all other magical powers. A person cannot be in two schools at the same time.

You can't be in multiple schools at the same time. You need to be in both in order to use both types of spells or be a shaman/elementalist, but that isn't allowed.

Zeytran is bard, always has, and always will be a Bard, most likely.

This was not hinted at all in the rest of the OC sheet. If he's a bard, that means he's a specialist in sound, which means he can't have the ice magic.

Being Disowned I can expand upon.. And yeah, why not? They already were against him, why not piss them off even further? Also, I think he was drawn to Ice magic, like he was drawn to Sound magic.

I mean, when you're disowned by your family the first emotion that comes to mind is usually sadness or regret before it manifests into anger. And you make it clear that Zeytran is not an average demon, so he probably would have these feelings of sadness since a normal demon probably wouldn't care that much.

I'm going to let you guys first of all collect your thoughts, because you guys are telling me different things and it's getting confusing. You guys should probably gather your thoughts.

We're saying the same thing, just in different ways. You want sound and Ice? Then you have to select two other magic elements as well and be a shaman class magic user. Or you can select sound or ice and go from there. It's as simple as that young.

And as Shadow said, you have him being a bard, you need to reflect that in the history.

No, you guys really aren't.

If you want him to use sound, then have him be a spoony bard (alright too much ff5 for me) and drop the ice powers. If you want him to be ice, then drop the sound powers, but he can still be a bard without having the sound abilities.

If he's a bard, that means he's a specialist in sound, which means he can't have the ice magic.

There's clearly some confusion there. Either you guys are not making sense, or I'm just really stupid, because it seems like you think one thing, and Kaiser disagrees.

What the fudge do you mean? Him being a bard was discovered when he fought with Demongo.

Shadow means if you are being serious and want him to use sound, then it fits the bard motif well due to the power set.

What I mean is, if you select Ice, the character can still be a bard, just without the sound powers. He's just be singing and using an instrument without the abilities.

*facepalm* OOOOOH! Okay! I swear I'm stupid sometimes...

Sound was never a specific requirement, but the Bard power is the simplest method..

The Ice is good. Yeah, I guess I'll go remove the sound power.

You didn't tell us you updated a few days ago young. How can we know it needs to be looked at if you don't tell us?

Winter bliss, either medium or high, not both.

how long does winter bliss last for?

Frost breath, how long can he do this for.

How long does blizzard last.

I forgot. Usually I'm on the RP's chatroom where we fix it up, and they generally will recheck on a sort of regularly basis. And you're supposed to know because #MAGIC.

Also, you said no double-posting.

High.

Winter's Bliss's max time would probably be 2 minutes.

Frost Breath is until he needs to re-inhale. So probably like a minute at pure max, but that's pushing it greatly.

It'll last for around maybe 1-2 minutes, depending on how much of his energy he has.

Considering its your character sheet, its one of the few times a double post is acceptable.

Uhkay. Well, I edited it.

The entire weakness of him being whiny and immature is more personality. How is it a weakness explain it.

You didn't really do away with not wanting to lie, since that conflicts with his manipulations, which is lying a good part of the time..

Well, think of it this way. If he's immature, he's less likely to think beyond the intial phase, and he's more likely to throw a tantrum and it detracts from his manipulative behavior and stuff.

Why would I? He doesn't like to lie. He'd rather just bend the truth.

Then say that to explain the weakness.

Bending the truth can still be seen as lying. It's a big contradiction to me. What you manipulate people, you lie to them. So if he hates lying, then how is he any good at manipulating them?

Um..okay?

I don't see it as lying. To me a lie is a non-truth. A lie would be saying, for example, that Demongo is secretly a toad in disguise. It's something that has no truth, or like 0.00000001% of truth.

When you manipulate people, you can do that without lying. You can make them think something. He doesn't have to actually say it. Besides, he will lie if he NEEDS to. He just doesn't like to.

What type of manipulation is he into then if he doesn't always have to say it?

Subtle mental influencing. Mind games. If he has to blatantly lie to someone, well, he's not doing a very good job now is he?

That's his mentality.