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Daniel Phoenix, "Shadow"

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Post  youngjusticeforever Sat Jan 09, 2016 8:34 pm

Name: Daniel Phoenix, though he prefers the term Boreas for his name

Age: 1,000 although nobody knows this except him

Ethnicity: None

Race (If your OC is an alien): Demon

Allegiance: The Villains

Origins: Demon

Powers: Touch of the Vampire: With a touch from skin to skin, Daniel can drain energy from others, it is seen when in full effect as red and black rose petals blossom around Daniel and the victim's feet

Contract: High, Daniel has the ability to create demonic Contracts. He downright refuses to take souls as payment. The contract usually has mystic symbols on it. Daniel also cannot make a deal if he's incapable of fulfilling the action in which he is obliged to do, and he cannot modify one without consent.

Healing: Medium, A wound is enveloped in a bright light which heals the wound, if it's minor then the light is yellow, if it's not light it's blue, and if it's major or fatal it'll be a blood crimson red(he would require aid to heal something on this level..like, serious aid).

The Snow-Born Demon's Wrath: Medium, Daniel hates using this ability, but will if necessary. He can freeze things, via Cryokinesis. The Wrath part comes into play for when he creates armor out of Demonic Ice, which he can create(Although it takes a serious amount of energy). This is particularly useful if fighting, because Demonic Ice cannot break by normal means(this means a regular flame wouldn't be very effective, nor would basic shattering. Now if you hit it mmh, let's say 4-5 times, it would completely shatter. And Fire just...it'd have to be a high level fire thing to melt it.)

Walking through Darkness: High, Daniel can teleport through Shadows, this is due to his Pendant, or so he thinks, in reality it's just a power he has

Appearance: Daniel can be described as tall. He has dark, shaggy hair which is in contrast to his pearly white eyes(and no, he is not blind). He normally wears a black T-shirt with a grisly image of a skull with blood. He wears tight black jeans, with several chains attached to them. He also has a black and red hoodie. He has a special pendant too Daniel Phoenix, "Shadow" 7fff7c6517bb611b0dea4da71e0349e2

Strengths: Daniel is particularly good at making deals, so convincing and persuasion would be one. Daniel has a certain adeptness with acrobatics and martial arts. He is also a master manipulator, capable of weaving several schemes at once. He also gets enhanced and stronger during the night or in darkness.

Weaknesses: Daniel is not strong on his own, meaning a direct confrontation would prove disastrous for him. Daniel's pendant is extremely precious to him, he will become so enraged should someone touch it that he could easily be bated to even harming himself. He's also very weak against Light and Light Magic, but not to as extreme of a degree as other demons.

Personality: Vain and Narcissistic. That sums Daniel up. He's narcissistic, vain and callous. He'd likely freak out if someone called him ugly. In his eyes, Humans are highly resourceful but tend to be annoying at times. He also is highly vocal about his own twisted views, not about humans, rather about Sin and Virtue. In this case, he twistedly believes that things such as Pride, Greed, the Seven Deadly Sins are better than things like Humility, Charity and the Seven Heavenly Virtues. He's also highly envious of Him, Aku and Javerick, although he can respect them...to a degree. He is also extremely possessive of his pendant. He can also be very cruel and taunting.

Despite this, he's not completely evil. He's capable of remorse and has a conscience, he just chooses not to listen to it. He feels that in the long run, those will hinder him down and get him killed. The few humans who he is interested by, he typically will leave alone unscathed. He also has a fondness for kittens, rabbits and many 'domestic' pets.

History: In the slums of the underworld is where Daniel lived. Violence was common, the way of life was 'Kill or be killed'. Daniel manipulated himself into a high position in those slums, where he ended up in control over a group of stupid, yet powerful Demons. He often sent some of them to raid other Demon homes, and kill.

On one fateful day, he was participating on a raid in a demon's house, where he got injured in the eyes to where all the pigment literally drained out of them, turning them a pearl white, even his pupils lost color and turned white as a result. Daniel managed to heal himself before he went blind. He went on a rampage, killing half of his 'gang' and severally injuring the rest. He gained the nick-name "The Snow-Born Demon" due to his eyes being as white as snow now.

He was eventually captured and imprisoned in a prison where he was left to wither and die. He didn't. He spent years patiently waiting and plotting for his return. After convincing a guard through elaborate lies and years convincing the guard, that he was innocent, the guard helped him escape. The only indicator that Shadow was ever there was a note. A simple note. It read

'I will return. Tell the King I will return. And, I'll make sure justice is done right. An eye for an eye, after all. Love, B.' It said. And he was gone. For seven long years, he was hiding, before he, quite literally, burnt that prison to the ground with some assistance from his former lieutenants. There was not one survivor. Not even one. Boreas traveled to a potion vendor and bought a potion. He then drank the potion to change his form to his current one to avoid being possibly recognized, and he began seemingly anew.

Do you use nanos: Nope, even if he could, he wouldn't.

Other: I will continue the history, I will. But at this point it could go two directions and I am pretty sure I need permission for one, but it's the one I'd prefer to go through so. What I'm thinking is, to convincingly not seem as who he was before, he'd take up fighting. That's something the previous Boreas would NEVER do. He could be good, and hired as a guard for the Abyssal Family. He could then be hired as a body-guard for the Abyssal Family. The rest is not needed, unless the previous gets approved.

Oh, also. A curious question, what's the policy with monsters?


Last edited by youngjusticeforever on Sun Jan 10, 2016 1:47 pm; edited 4 times in total
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Post  zerowing21 Sun Jan 10, 2016 12:41 am

We have rules for drain in place. At most you can drain life force (aka energy), but not strength.

If his eyes are so damaged, wouldn't he be blind?
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Post  youngjusticeforever Sun Jan 10, 2016 10:41 am

Ah, sorry. I meant Life-Force, but Strength often appears in my mind.

Not exactly. I mean, his pigment was literally drained out of his eyes, they weren't stabbed or anything. I'll edit the history.
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Post  zerowing21 Sun Jan 10, 2016 12:07 pm

The vain thing and freaking out at being called ugly would be more personality trait.
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Post  Buttercrush Sun Jan 10, 2016 12:34 pm

Well. That's what I call edgy.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Name: Daniel Phoenix, though he prefers the term Shadow for his name

Why does he go by this generic nickname? It doesn't really correspond to anything I've seen in this application.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Age: Nobody truly knows(except him), but the first time he ever appeared was around a thousand years ago, so let's estimate he's around a thousand years old

We need an age. So he's 1000.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Race (If your OC is an alien): None

He's a Demon. That would be his race.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Daniel can drain energy and strength from others

Let's talk about the Drain rules, shall we?

zerowing21 wrote:
Drain Rules

Drain has an effect on all beings and can sap a major portion of a person’s power and energy. First discovered by Holden during combat against Tessa, drain is now seen as a major weakness to everyone. Someone like the puffs take three to four drain hits before they are unable to use any powers. The number of hits depends on the person and recovery from drain can ranged from a day or so to weeks. Drain is an automatic hit, you cannot avoid it. Only specific RPCs can use drain. OCs must ask RP Coordinators if its okay to use drain. Miss use of drain will equal a automatic ban from RP.

There are exceptions to who can be drained or not. The ones who cannot be drained are:


  • Aku- He is a formless evil, and can only be affected by Magic. If an attempt on a drain was to happen, the user would receive a backlash that could place them in coma or even kill them.
  • The Lich- Since he is a powerful undead wizard, there is no "energy" to drain from him, since he is not technically living. If an attempt occurs, the user could be heavily wounded, or die.
  • Grim- He's death, which means he has no energy to be drained. Unlike the others, if a user attempts a drain on him, the user will die from the backlash.
  • Him- He may or may no represent the devil, but he is (as quoted) "so sinister, so evil, so scary, so horribly vile" that energy drawn from him will backlash onto the user, resulting in near-death to death.
  • Eris- She is a goddess, which means a drain brought about by human or alien conventions will be non effective on her. Unlike the others, if there is an attempt, the backlash will simply knock out the person for a day.
  • Val Hallen - Val Hallen is a god. Similar to Eris, if he is drained by a human or alien, it will be non-effective, and the backlash will knock the person out for a day.
  • Ectonurites - The Species known as Ghostfreaks are spirit like beings and thus have negative energy. Any attempts to drain them results in the person being knocked out for a day.


We take the usage of Drain powers very seriously here. Miss use of drain will equal an automatic ban from RP. You cannot drain Strength as you said Daniel can. Only energy. This needs to be edited.

Also, perhaps since your RPing skills aren't as defined as others, maybe you should just scrap the Drain power all together. It might be for the best. If you really want to use Drain, rework this character into a human who can use a Nano with drain powers.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Contract: High, Daniel has the ability to create demonic Contracts. He prefers to not utilize Souls for Payment, but he will. The contract usually has mystic symbols on it. Daniel also cannot make a deal if he's incapable of fulfilling the action in which he is obliged to do, and he cannot modify one without consent.

He cannot collect/take souls. This needs to be removed.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Teleportation: High, Daniel can teleport through Shadows, this is due to his Pendant, or so he thinks

How does his Pendant allow him to do that? And if the Pendant has nothing to do with it, than what causes it?

youngjusticeforever wrote:Weaknesses: Daniel is not strong on his own, meaning a direct confrontation would prove disastrous for him.

Why isn't he strong when he's alone? Does that mean everything he's done has been with another person?

youngjusticeforever wrote:To him, humans are useless except as play-things, or slaves, although he does occasionally see a human that interests him.

Is it a common staple with your characters to have them hate humans? These characters live in the human world. If all of your character hate them, then they need to get used to it. Demons are powerful, but they're living in the human world in this RP. Humans overpower them now.

Consider removing this aspect. It's generic.

youngjusticeforever wrote:He also is highly vocal about his own twisted views, not about humans, rather about Sin and Virtue.

Elaborate.

youngjusticeforever wrote:He gained the nick-name "The Snow-Born Demon" due to his eyes being as white as snow now.

So why is his nickname Shadow then? Seems like a Snow-based nickname would be better instead of the boring, generic, edgy nickname. Be creative, not following the crowd.

youngjusticeforever wrote:After convincing a guard that he was innocent, the guard helped him escape.


And how did he manage to do that?

youngjusticeforever wrote:It wrote

It read*

youngjusticeforever wrote:Tell the King I will return.

Why is he addressing the King? He hasn't been mentioned up to this point, so why now?

youngjusticeforever wrote:before he, quite literally, burnt that prison to the ground. There was not one survivor. Not even one. He then drank a potion to change his form to his current one, and he began seemingly anew.

Was he alone when he burnt this prison down? If so, isn't he weak when alone? And who was he with if he wasn't? How did he get the potion? Why did he want the potion?

Explanation is your friend. Work on it.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Oh, also. A curious question, what's the policy with monsters?

What exactly do you mean?

Perhaps you shouldn't make a demon as your first character.
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Post  Kaiser Sun Jan 10, 2016 1:29 pm

Age: Nobody truly knows(except him), but the first time he ever appeared was around a thousand years ago, so let's estimate he's around a thousand years old
If he knows his age, list it. Make note if no one else does, but it should be there if he does know his age

Touch of the Vampire: With a touch from skin to skin, Daniel can drain energy and strength from others, it is seen when in full effect as red and black rose petals blossom around Daniel and the victim's feet(If the RP Coordinators say no to this then okay)
I'm leaning towards no for the drain power, but how does the petal thing have anything to do with that? How does something grow while he's stealing energy from something else?

Contract: High, Daniel has the ability to create demonic Contracts. He prefers to not utilize Souls for Payment, but he will. The contract usually has mystic symbols on it. Daniel also cannot make a deal if he's incapable of fulfilling the action in which he is obliged to do, and he cannot modify one without consent.
This is on the edge of reality warping. Either get rid of it or make modifications so that it can't be. Also, no souls, so it'd be better if you scrapped this.

The Snow-Born Demon's Wrath: Medium, Daniel hates using this ability, but will if necessary. He can freeze things, via Cryokinesis. The Wrath part comes into play for when he creates armor out of Demonic Ice, which he can create(Although it takes a serious amount of energy). This is particularly useful if fighting, because Demonic Ice cannot break by normal means(this means a regular flame wouldn't be very effective, nor would basic shattering. Now if you hit it mmh, let's say 4-5 times, it would completely shatter. And Fire just...it'd have to be a high level fire thing to melt it.)
What makes demonic ice different from normal ice?

Teleportation: High, Daniel can teleport through Shadows, this is due to his Pendant, or so he thinks
Range of effectiveness. What makes this actually possible if it's not this pendant?

Daniel is particularly good at making deals, so convincing and persuasion would be one.
He is also a master manipulator, capable of weaving several schemes at once.
You need to be a master of manipulation to be good at deal making, so these fall under the same thing

History stuff

If he's weak alone, how did he form a gang with hardened demons? Even if they're stupid, demons wouldn't just follow a weak guy, they follow the strong.

The guard he convinced, how did he do that? Daniel is a punk from the slums that caused trouble for YEARS. There is no doubt that he is not innocent. This guard would have to be stupid beyond belief if he would believe that guy, and he wouldn't be a guard if he was that stupid.

The burning of the jail, one how? They would be prepared for a threat like that from an escaped prisoner. How did he pull this off without anyone noticing and by himself if he was apparently weak by himself. Two: Why/How would he leave a note? He's in jail, not detention. He wouldn't have access to pen and paper. Also, when you escape from prison, you usually don't want to go back, and letting the cops know you're out now and going to come back is not a good way to avoid capture. Third, what's the point of mentioning the King? At no point in his history was he mentioned, why would he be mad now? For that matter, why is he jealous of the demons you listed, you mentioned nothing about them in this history, let alone anything to be jealous over. Four, no survivors? At all? For something they should have seen coming? Sure they could have not expected a fire, but how were they so unprepared for a guy that's blind that they KNEW escaped and KNEW would come back. They wouldn't just magically forget about him just because it's been seven years.

Where does the nickname Shadow come from? Did he just take it when he was in the slums? What's the significance of it? If he's associated with snow after surviving being left for dead with his snow white eyes, why would he not call himself Snow now? How did he cope with the loss of his sight? How is he getting around?

You also mentioned the pendant to the point where it's important to him yet explained nothing about it. Why does he care about it so much? What does it actually do? Where did he find it?
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Post  youngjusticeforever Sun Jan 10, 2016 1:36 pm

@Zerowing
Done.

@Professor Utonium
Drainage
Edited. And I'd rather have this be a demon, although thanks for the suggestion. Also, it's possible for boot camp after this too so I could practice.

Of Souls and Pendants
No more souls. Done and done. And the Pendant doesn't, but he thinks it does.

Weaknesses
I think you misunderstood. A direct confrontation would not prove well. As in, blatantly jumping into the fray. But a non-direct confrontation would be better. He doesn't require others, but it helps.

Personality
Sort of, yeah. Honestly, I'm frankly surprised there aren't other Demons who aren't disgusted by the Humans as much. But eh, removed.

Vocal Beliefs
He favors things such as the 7 Deadly Sins over the 7 Heavenly Virtues. Probably should've explained that from the beginning, my bad, sorry.

Alias
I changed it to Boreas. The Greek God of the Northern Wind, the Bringer of Winter. His daughter is Khione, Greek Goddess of Snow and Ice.

Of Guards and Kings
Well, think of it this way. He's a master manipulator. He'd easily be able to convince one guard, I'd wager. Oh, and the King is the...well King! He probably thinks he's to blame.

Monsters
I mean, like, do monsters exist here. If so, are they common or not.

Demons
Thank you for the suggestion, but I'm afraid I'm going to have a Demon character. Demons are awesome Cool
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Post  Buttercrush Sun Jan 10, 2016 2:08 pm

youngjusticeforever wrote:@Professor Utonium
 Drainage
Edited. And I'd rather have this be a demon, although thanks for the suggestion. Also, it's possible for boot camp after this too so I could practice.

Remove the drain altogether. We've decided it cannot happen.

Perhaps you need Bootcamp for character creation.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Of Souls and Pendants
No more souls. Done and done. And the Pendant doesn't, but he thinks it does.

He doesn't just refuse to take souls as payments, he is unable to. Edit that in. And if the Pendant doesn't, then what does? I already asked that.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Weaknesses
I think you misunderstood. A direct confrontation would not prove well. As in, blatantly  jumping into the fray. But a non-direct confrontation would be better. He doesn't require others, but it helps.

I really wish you made sense.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Personality
Sort of, yeah. Honestly, I'm frankly surprised there aren't other Demons who aren't disgusted by the Humans as much. But eh, removed.

They aren't disgusted by them because they LIVE IN THE HUMAN WORLD.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Vocal Beliefs
He favors things such as the 7 Deadly Sins over the 7 Heavenly Virtues. Probably should've explained that from the beginning, my bad, sorry.

Yes, you should have.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Alias
I changed it to Boreas. The Greek God of the Northern Wind, the Bringer of Winter. His daughter is Khione, Greek Goddess of Snow and Ice.

Better. Edit the title as well.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Of Guards and Kings
Well, think of it this way. He's a master manipulator. He'd easily be able to convince one guard, I'd wager. Oh, and the King is the...well King! He probably thinks he's to blame.

I really, really wish you made sense.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Monsters
I mean, like, do monsters exist here. If so, are they common or not.

What is your definition of monsters? Fusions are infecting the planet, they're everywhere.

youngjusticeforever wrote:Demons
Thank you for the suggestion, but I'm afraid I'm going to have a Demon character. Demons are awesome Cool

Demons are awesome if you can do them correctly, which clearly you have proven that you're struggling.

Also, answer Kaiser's post.
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Post  zerowing21 Sun Jan 10, 2016 2:14 pm

How did he get an injury to his eyes? You need to expand on it. Just leave it vague like you do isn't gonna fly with me.

I'd have to agree with Prof, a boot in character creation might help ya.
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Post  youngjusticeforever Sun Jan 10, 2016 2:27 pm

Listen, Prof. I really don't want to, but can you please tone it down a little bit? You may not mean to, but it's starting to come off a little condescending to me.

And I already answered about his teleportation.

I really wish people understood what I meant to say. He, in a blatant Fist fight would not win. That's a direct conflict. If he is able to use Martial Arts or that sort, he has a much higher chance of winning.

Please stop with the condescending attitude, I'm warned for getting irritated, but please stop with the condescending attitude.

Monsters. Oh forget it! And Fusions are more like Aliens.

I would've except two key things. One, I would just be repeating myself, and two, I sent a much more detailed PM to Kaiser about his post yet he hasn't responded.

And, can you seriously stop the condescension? I don't mind you being blunt, by all means be blunt if you want. But you're expecting far too much and being far too critical. You might not mean it as condescension, but it seems very condescending to me. Please stop.
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Post  zerowing21 Sun Jan 10, 2016 2:36 pm

Young, this behavior of you acting like you know it all stops now. I'm afraid that no one wants to deal with you at all when you're like this. Please understand, we are trying to help you here and you are biting the hand of the people who are doing their jobs of reviewing to make sure the character are within the rules. I'm afraid that we'll have to ban you at this rate because you do not want to be a team player. Maybe, this rp is not the best starting point for you, since you have limited experience with rping.
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Post  youngjusticeforever Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:53 pm

I think I'll just take a little hiatus from this place. I'm probably gonna take a week off or so, but maybe longer. But for the record, think of it from my view. It may not have been meant to be condescending, but it sure comes out that way. Especially since it's been going on since Wednesday.

And I have plenty of experience roleplaying. I'm a veteran in another...actually, I run an HQ in it so please do not assume I have little experience with Roleplaying. Perhaps this Roleplay is far too strict? Something to consider. Anyways, I'm going to go for a little bit. I'll check back in a few days or weeks.
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Post  Buttercrush Sun Jan 10, 2016 8:12 pm

youngjusticeforever wrote:And I have plenty of experience roleplaying. I'm a veteran in another...actually, I run an HQ in it so please do not assume I have little experience with Roleplaying. Perhaps this Roleplay is far too strict? Something to consider. Anyways, I'm going to go for a little bit. I'll check back in a few days or weeks.

We don't know you as well as you know yourself. But from what you've shown and done, your skills are not as defined as someone who has had a lot of experience.

We'll see you in a few weeks. Once you return we can set up the Bootcamp for CC.
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