ThatguyRay's Boot thread

[zerowing21]

Prof has informed me you wish to take part in a boot camp session. We'll all help you go through the basics of rping with this.

Lesson one: Basic details and dialog

Ray, for rping detail is rather important. They tell us things from whats around the character, to how they might feel or their tone of voice. Most times, the more details the better.

Dialog is also important, because well, the character needs to speak up and be heard. Please remember to use quotes ("example") when a character begins to speak and finishes. The grammar is also important cuz some wrong grammar might leave a responder confused. I would also suggest you pick a tense (either past or present) and stick with it for the duration.

I'll do an example with a character and I would like you to reply to it with your own character.

The sun shines down upon the mall's food court and sitting at a clean table near the stairs is Holden Wren. The pink haired boy is looking over some paper work from IZOC; while also noming on a burger with ketchup spilling out the sides, some of it dripping onto his shirt. "Guess I'll have to clean this when I get home." The man says in a quiet tone, glad that his work papers didn't become stained.

[ThatGuyRay]

After searching for a music store with no luck, Magnus decides to ask someone at the foodcourt. After arriving at the food court, he spots a boy with pink hair and decides to approache him. "Hey dude, do you happen to know if there is a music store here in the mall?" He asks, hoping he knows.

[zerowing21]

(The arriving at the food court is a little redundant. Just say, Having arrived, etc etc because we know that he is already arriving there. Just so you know me using () Is meant to signify I'm speaking OOC aka out of character or just plain me)


Holden looks up from his work to the newcomer and gives a sharp nod, "There is. If you head out of the food court and head southward, you'll see the band shell and right near the band shell is Marcy's music store. The vampire queen has guitar's, CD's, records and other instruments."

[ThatGuyRay]

"Thanks a lot" He then runs over to Marcy's store. "Hi, Do you have any bass guitar cases"

[zerowing21]

Upon hearing the door open, Marcy places down her own axe and greets the person with a smile, "We got several models on the back wall over there. Are you looking for something in-particular?"

[ThatGuyRay]

"Im just looking for something to fit this." Magnus takes his bass off of his back and shows the vampire queen.

[zerowing21]

Marcy eyes widen and she bends down to look at it, "Now that's a beauty of a base. I would love to jam with ya some day. I think I know just the case you want." The woman floats off towards the back, picking up a black case with a blue velvet lining. "This one I'm sure you'll love." She floats back to show the boy.

[ThatGuyRay]

Magnus looks at the case, and he loves it. "That is a sick case! I'll take it. And I would love to jam with ya sometime.

[zerowing21]

(alright you forgot the end quote. You also don't need a comma before and.)

"Well, it's only 1,000 taros." The vampire responds, setting it on the counter and ringing it up. She could see that this cased was love at first glance with this customer. "Come back later and we'll defiantly jam."

[ThatGuyRay]

(Whoops forgot about the end quote)

Magnus hands over the taros and puts his bass in the case. "See ya later" He grabs his bass and heads out of the store

[zerowing21]

"See you." Marcy calls back, heading into the back of the store to talk with Princess Bubblegum.

[ThatGuyRay]

As Magnus leaves the store he hears his stomach growl."Man I am hungry, looks like I'm going to Burger Frenzy" He then heads off to the burger joint.

[zerowing21]

Ben stands behind the counter of the burger joint, looking bored out of his skull.

[ThatGuyRay]

Magnus walks up to the man at the counter. "Hi can I have a Bacon Frenzy Burger please." He then started to get his taros out.

[zerowing21]

"Want anything else with it? A drink or some fries?" Ben inquires as he rings up the meal. He wanted to be doing something fun, not being stuck at this dead end job.

[ThatGuyRay]

"No thanks, Im in a hurry, the new sumo slammers video game came out today!" Right as the burger is handed to him he rips it open and starts eating.

[zerowing21]

(wait whoa. hold on there ray. That's power playing you just did. This is an important lesson that we will go over now. Power playing is when a rper commits to an action that another user should be doing. Ben should be the one to hand the burger to Magnus. You shouldn't be decided it was just handed to him. This kind of thing can lead to god moding which is a big issue. So let's have you redo that last sentence and actions with this new found knowledge)

[ThatGuyRay]

(ok, good to know)

"No thanks, Im in a hurry, the new sumo slammers video game came out today!" He then waits for him to tell him the taro amount.

[zerowing21]

"Ah man, I forgot that was coming out." Ben gripes, putting in the order, but also slamming his fist on the counter. "That will be 11 taros."

[ThatGuyRay]

"I picked it up today, but i haven't had time to play it. I heard its the best one yet."
Magnus then hands over the taros.

[zerowing21]

Ben groans, "Man, it's not fair, I have to wait til to play it." He place the taros in the register and a minute later a little alien from the back, places the bag with the burger on the counter.

[ThatGuyRay]

Magnus takes the bag from the counter. "Thanks, see ya round" He then heads off to the mall exit

[zerowing21]

"See you." Ben mutters and goes back to being lazy and not caring.

[ThatGuyRay]

Magnus leaves the mall and pulls out his burger. "This is delicious!" He then starts walking towards his house.

[zerowing21]

(alright, now we're gonna move onto a fight here to make sure your character isn't too op)

About halfway home, a fusion of Vashti blocks Magnus' path. The fusion releases a roar from its body and throws a ball of FM at the boy.

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