Annaliese Phantomrose
+2
Mr.Didathing
HikariShiroiongaku
6 posters
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Annaliese Phantomrose
Name: Annaliese Phantomrose
Age: 15
Ethnicity: British (Celtic-Germanic as 1/4 Scottish and 1/4 English and 2/4 German)
Race: Human
Allegiance: Good
Origins: Magic User
Powers: Element of water. She can generate water and ice. She can use both types of one target only and all targets in one area. If she uses as type of all targets in one area, she has to spend more time to generate her power than type of one target only.
- [Low level] Water ball: a(/all) target(s in one area) will be soaked and rebound
- [High level] Snow ball: a target will be frozen, but that target will be same as usual if she just uses for fun. It will turn as storm if she uses for all targets in one area.
If she uses it continuously, she can use it about 2 hours. After that, she has to take a rest about 30 minutes before she continues to use her magic power.
Appearance: She has a long golden hair with blue eyes. She wears a white long sleeve suit shirt with a dark rose waistcoat and rose scarf which similar to a noble class style with a crimson brooch. She wears a shot black skirt and black cut shoes.
Strengths:
- Super stronghold at snow ball
- Ability to breathe underwater about 1 hour and stay outside longer than ordinary human in below freezing temperatures about 1 hour.
- If she has a combat in a cold atmosphere or nearby water, her power will become more effective and time for taking a rest will be shorter than usual about 20 minutes.
Weaknesses:
- Hand-to-hand combat without using her magic power
- If she loses her mind control during a process for using type of all targets in one area, she has to restart it since a beginning of process.
- Limited power at a time. If she uses over about 2 hours, she will be lack of power about a half day.
- When she uses her water ball, she cannot be nearby electro user. Otherwise, she will get an electric shock.
- Sensitive to a hot weather
- If she has a combat in a hot atmosphere, she cannot use her power effectively and time for taking a rest will be longer than usual about 2 hours same as a maximum time if she uses her power continuously.
Personality: She is serious, loner and daredevil person. When important works come to her, she always finish them first before doing other things what she want. Exception for tea time that she will take a rest first before continues to do her important works. Sometimes, she can be a childish as she gets a stress from doing something seriously. She prefers to do her works alone without any group members. If that work really needs a team work, she will overcome her loner and try her best to coordinate with her group members. Although she is loner, it does not mean she is not friendly. Sometimes, she also can have a long conversation like a talkative one if she thinks that she close enough to that person. When she got berserk during a combat, she will forget what will happen if she uses her magic power continuously without taking a rest. After she can beat that target, she will immediately being lack of power about a half day.
History: Her family moved from London to City Point for their new work place since she was 4 years old. She discovered her power at 6 years old. The first time was when she accidentally fall into a pond. She supposed to be run out of air but she able to breathe as usual. The second time was when she joined a snowball fight. Her opposite noticed at her as he felt weird that how she could continuously threw those snowball. She enrolled in school of Hydro-Cryo when she was 8 years old. Fusion monsters invaded while she was enjoying her tea time. She froze all fusion monsters at that time as they interrupted her tea time. After that, she asked others what happened. She joined in the war because fusion monsters dare to make a terrible interrupted in her tea time.
Like: Tea time, magic, nature, tranquilly time
Dislike: To be interrupted, especially during her tea time or spending in a tranquilly time, (but it is okay if you just want to have a conversation without irritation to her or you have something very serious and it really needs to inform her).
Do you use nanos: No
Age: 15
Ethnicity: British (Celtic-Germanic as 1/4 Scottish and 1/4 English and 2/4 German)
Race: Human
Allegiance: Good
Origins: Magic User
Powers: Element of water. She can generate water and ice. She can use both types of one target only and all targets in one area. If she uses as type of all targets in one area, she has to spend more time to generate her power than type of one target only.
- [Low level] Water ball: a(/all) target(s in one area) will be soaked and rebound
- [High level] Snow ball: a target will be frozen, but that target will be same as usual if she just uses for fun. It will turn as storm if she uses for all targets in one area.
If she uses it continuously, she can use it about 2 hours. After that, she has to take a rest about 30 minutes before she continues to use her magic power.
Appearance: She has a long golden hair with blue eyes. She wears a white long sleeve suit shirt with a dark rose waistcoat and rose scarf which similar to a noble class style with a crimson brooch. She wears a shot black skirt and black cut shoes.
Strengths:
- Super stronghold at snow ball
- Ability to breathe underwater about 1 hour and stay outside longer than ordinary human in below freezing temperatures about 1 hour.
- If she has a combat in a cold atmosphere or nearby water, her power will become more effective and time for taking a rest will be shorter than usual about 20 minutes.
Weaknesses:
- Hand-to-hand combat without using her magic power
- If she loses her mind control during a process for using type of all targets in one area, she has to restart it since a beginning of process.
- Limited power at a time. If she uses over about 2 hours, she will be lack of power about a half day.
- When she uses her water ball, she cannot be nearby electro user. Otherwise, she will get an electric shock.
- Sensitive to a hot weather
- If she has a combat in a hot atmosphere, she cannot use her power effectively and time for taking a rest will be longer than usual about 2 hours same as a maximum time if she uses her power continuously.
Personality: She is serious, loner and daredevil person. When important works come to her, she always finish them first before doing other things what she want. Exception for tea time that she will take a rest first before continues to do her important works. Sometimes, she can be a childish as she gets a stress from doing something seriously. She prefers to do her works alone without any group members. If that work really needs a team work, she will overcome her loner and try her best to coordinate with her group members. Although she is loner, it does not mean she is not friendly. Sometimes, she also can have a long conversation like a talkative one if she thinks that she close enough to that person. When she got berserk during a combat, she will forget what will happen if she uses her magic power continuously without taking a rest. After she can beat that target, she will immediately being lack of power about a half day.
History: Her family moved from London to City Point for their new work place since she was 4 years old. She discovered her power at 6 years old. The first time was when she accidentally fall into a pond. She supposed to be run out of air but she able to breathe as usual. The second time was when she joined a snowball fight. Her opposite noticed at her as he felt weird that how she could continuously threw those snowball. She enrolled in school of Hydro-Cryo when she was 8 years old. Fusion monsters invaded while she was enjoying her tea time. She froze all fusion monsters at that time as they interrupted her tea time. After that, she asked others what happened. She joined in the war because fusion monsters dare to make a terrible interrupted in her tea time.
Like: Tea time, magic, nature, tranquilly time
Dislike: To be interrupted, especially during her tea time or spending in a tranquilly time, (but it is okay if you just want to have a conversation without irritation to her or you have something very serious and it really needs to inform her).
Do you use nanos: No
Last edited by HikariShiroiongaku on Tue Dec 30, 2014 1:15 pm; edited 14 times in total
HikariShiroiongaku- Posts : 5
Join date : 2014-07-30
Re: Annaliese Phantomrose
When you say "6 hours only", do you mean continuously, or what? If it's continuously, that's too long. Probably.
By "staying outside without freezing", I take it you mean staying in below freezing temperatures?
Not sure if being emotionless should count as a strength. By which I mean it isn't.
"Once she can’t be tolerated at something, she will extremely act her true feeling at that thing."
I don't know what that means.
By "emotionless" I think you mean "stoic". There is a difference. Maybe flesh out the personality a bit more.
By "staying outside without freezing", I take it you mean staying in below freezing temperatures?
Not sure if being emotionless should count as a strength. By which I mean it isn't.
"Once she can’t be tolerated at something, she will extremely act her true feeling at that thing."
I don't know what that means.
By "emotionless" I think you mean "stoic". There is a difference. Maybe flesh out the personality a bit more.
Mr.Didathing- Posts : 1619
Join date : 2013-09-08
Re: Annaliese Phantomrose
HikariShiroiongaku wrote:Powers: Element of water. If she uses it as non-stop types, she can use it maximum for 6 hours only (PS. If it is too long, you can tell me.). Then, she has to take a rest 1 hour before she continues to use her magic power.
What are her attacks? What can she do with her water magic?
Strengths:
- Everyone never know her true feeling as she is emotionless
I'm with Amp; I don't see being emotionless a strength, unless you mean that since she has no emotions, she doesn't act brash or strikes out.
Weaknesses:
- Once she can’t be tolerated at something, she will extremely act her true feeling at that thing.
I actually have no clue what this means. Do you mean if she doesn't tolerate something she'll strike at it?
Personality: Emotionless (It doesn't mean you can make her get angry, you can notice from her action.), superficial, plain-spoken (sometimes she also can speak nicely.)
Please expand. Currently she had three qualities to her personality, which makes her come off as a flat character.
History:
- Spoiler:
Her family moved from London to City Point for their work place since she was 4 years old. She enrolled in school of Hydro-Cryo when she was 6 years old. (PS. Is it too young?) Fusion monsters invaded while she was enjoying her tea time. After that, she asked other people what happened after she had frozen all fusion monsters which she faced. She joined in Dexter’s team from 1 one of 4 teams (Ben’s team, Dexter’s team, Mojo Jojo’s team and Edd’s team.). Nowadays, she still takes for mission when people need her to do as she can do. Almost of her mission will be received from Dexter and Blossom. Also, friends of both of them; Dee Dee, Mandark, Bubbles, Buttercup, Ben, Prof.Utonium, Ms. Computress and others (NPCs) who need her.
You can have her discover her powers at 6, but age up the schooling to 8, since we'll do it similar to how KND enrolls new recruits at 8.
We actually don't have the mentors be mentors. That was just a situation we decided to avoid altogether.
Please limit her knowledge of NPCs to a handful; not everyone knows everyone, and not everyone is friends with everyone.
Also, just so you're aware, Computress is called Triana in the RP since she was transferred from her mechanical body to a human-like body. Again, this is actually for your awareness.
Re: Annaliese Phantomrose
Please place on the strengths of the attacks and only six attacks may be used. The last two aren't exactly powers at all. You also need to be rid of the guides references please. It is looking better, but please look to what Kyra and Amp have said.
zerowing21- Posts : 7958
Join date : 2013-06-15
Re: Annaliese Phantomrose
Fixed
I had already read what they said and I tried my best to edit what they point out.
If I still need to edit, please tell me.
I had already read what they said and I tried my best to edit what they point out.
If I still need to edit, please tell me.
HikariShiroiongaku- Posts : 5
Join date : 2014-07-30
Re: Annaliese Phantomrose
You still haven't fixed the guide thing nor have you added why she joined in the war, nor have you placed on the power level for her abilities.
Sorry if i'm being a tough nut to crack.
Sorry if i'm being a tough nut to crack.
zerowing21- Posts : 7958
Join date : 2013-06-15
Re: Annaliese Phantomrose
I'd say the simplest thing to do is to not bother with precise time measurements for the powers. Maybe that's not recommended, but that seems to be the easiest way to not have her be overpowered.
Aside from that I can't think of any more big problems.
Then again, I'm soft.
Aside from that I can't think of any more big problems.
Then again, I'm soft.
Amp- Posts : 3819
Join date : 2013-09-01
Location : Wherever I want. Whenever I want.
Re: Annaliese Phantomrose
Fixed
I put the word "about" for approximate the time as I avoid to precise time measurements. I cut out for the guide things as she is a loner.
That's ok, I'm a superficial thinker but I try my best to understand.
I put the word "about" for approximate the time as I avoid to precise time measurements. I cut out for the guide things as she is a loner.
That's ok, I'm a superficial thinker but I try my best to understand.
HikariShiroiongaku- Posts : 5
Join date : 2014-07-30
Re: Annaliese Phantomrose
"About" makes things a little better. The character is detailed and interesting. I'll be your first accept.
techee- Posts : 904
Join date : 2013-06-16
Re: Annaliese Phantomrose
Alright you fixed what I asked for, sorry for not getting back to this sooner. I'll give a tentative accept.
zerowing21- Posts : 7958
Join date : 2013-06-15
Re: Annaliese Phantomrose
Can I change some words there? because I feel I used wrong words , but still no change for the content my OC profile.
HikariShiroiongaku- Posts : 5
Join date : 2014-07-30
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