Mace warrior

Didn't realize you had done the correction so my bad (Nor was there any kind of notification that a correction had been done). Can you please edit the history so its not a run on sentence and everything that is supposed to be a thought is separate and complete? Just makes it easier to understand.

zerowing21 wrote:Didn't realize you had done the correction so my bad. Can you please edit the history so its not a run on sentence and everything is a complete thought? Just makes it easier to understand.

which part

The entire history. Like each thought is a sentence. Even thought the thing with the KND and the Operation C.A.K.E and what not, those would be several sentences. It just helps with over all structure.

zerowing21 wrote:The entire history. Like each thought is a sentence. Even thought the thing with the KND and the Operation C.A.K.E and what not, those would be several sentences. It just helps with over all structure.

you mean start from sratch

No, not at all. It's easy to edit to make everything complete sentences. I'll give you a minor example

His childhood was good and he actually he had a good relationship with his family. His actually kept good grades, He joined the knd when he was spying on them. During his recruitment, they noted his sword skills and how good with a blaster he was.

See? Simple edits and changes, but nothing changed. It helps complete thoughts and not make it one giant sentence.

zerowing21 wrote:No, not at all. It's easy to edit to make everything complete sentences. I'll give you a minor example

His childhood was good and he actually he had a good relationship with his family. His actually kept good grades, He joined the knd when he was spying on them. During his recruitment, they noted his sword skills and how good with a blaster he was.

See? Simple edits and changes, but nothing changed. It helps complete thoughts and not make it one giant sentence.

ok

While I showed you how exactly not to do run ones it as an example, please continue the process. You still have a bit of work to go on it.

zerowing21 wrote:While I showed you how exactly not to do run ones it as an example, please continue the process. You still have a bit of work to go on it.

ok

I still see you haven't fixed the run on sentences in the history, can you please get to this.

zerowing21 wrote:I still see you haven't fixed the run on sentences in the history, can you please get to this.

fine , point the problems and ill see what I can do

Ty and its pretty much everything that's a run on from when I stopped the example.

zerowing21 wrote:Ty and its pretty much everything that's a run on from when I stopped the example.

like given space, periods and that's it

Yes please.

zerowing21 wrote:Yes please.

fair enough

Can you elaborate on why his strengths are strengths, and also why his weaknesses are weaknesses?

Can you also explain how Mace ends up accidentally spying on the KND? What puts him in this situation, and how does he feel about it?

Professor Utonium wrote:Can you elaborate on why his strengths are strengths, and also why his weaknesses are weaknesses?

Can you also explain how Mace ends up accidentally spying on the KND? What puts him in this situation, and how does he feel about it?

ok

By "bumps into things" I assume you mean he's clumsy. If so, why does that not effect him in battle?

Mr.Didathing wrote:By "bumps into things" I assume you mean he's clumsy.  If so, why does that not effect him in battle?

only when not in combat

Wouldn't that be something that pops up in combat though? Why in some situations and not others? Apologies for the late response.

Mr.Didathing wrote:Wouldn't that be something that pops up in combat though?  Why in some situations and not others?  Apologies for the late response.

its ok, well i think it would make sense in some ways

You're gonna have to expand on what that means. Is it a matter of focus for him?

Ok, yea

Could you flesh out his personality a tad more? Why does he have these traits, and how do they help him in life?

Professor Utonium wrote:Could you flesh out his personality a tad more? Why does he have these traits, and how do they help him in life?

OK, what do you have a idea, I want to learn from the best