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Mace warrior

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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Fri Sep 29, 2017 11:36 pm

Didn't realize you had done the correction so my bad (Nor was there any kind of notification that a correction had been done). Can you please edit the history so its not a run on sentence and everything that is supposed to be a thought is separate and complete? Just makes it easier to understand.


Last edited by zerowing21 on Fri Sep 29, 2017 11:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Fri Sep 29, 2017 11:38 pm

zerowing21 wrote:Didn't realize you had done the correction so my bad. Can you please edit the history so its not a run on sentence and everything is a complete thought? Just makes it easier to understand.
which part
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Fri Sep 29, 2017 11:40 pm

The entire history. Like each thought is a sentence. Even thought the thing with the KND and the Operation C.A.K.E and what not, those would be several sentences. It just helps with over all structure.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Fri Sep 29, 2017 11:47 pm

zerowing21 wrote:The entire history. Like each thought is a sentence. Even thought the thing with the KND and the Operation C.A.K.E and what not, those would be several sentences. It just helps with over all structure.
you mean start from sratch
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Fri Sep 29, 2017 11:53 pm

No, not at all. It's easy to edit to make everything complete sentences. I'll give you a minor example

His childhood was good and he actually he had a good relationship with his family. His actually kept good grades, He joined the knd when he was spying on them. During his recruitment, they noted his sword skills and how good with a blaster he was.

See? Simple edits and changes, but nothing changed. It helps complete thoughts and not make it one giant sentence.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sat Sep 30, 2017 12:03 am

zerowing21 wrote:No, not at all. It's easy to edit to make everything complete sentences. I'll give you a minor example

His childhood was good and he actually he had a good relationship with his family. His actually kept good grades, He joined the knd when he was spying on them. During his recruitment, they noted his sword skills and how good with a blaster he was.

See? Simple edits and changes, but nothing changed. It helps complete thoughts and not make it one giant sentence.
ok
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Sep 30, 2017 11:47 am

While I showed you how exactly not to do run ones it as an example, please continue the process. You still have a bit of work to go on it.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sun Oct 01, 2017 12:03 am

zerowing21 wrote:While I showed you how exactly not to do run ones it as an example, please continue the process. You still have a bit of work to go on it.
ok
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:14 pm

I still see you haven't fixed the run on sentences in the history, can you please get to this.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:17 pm

zerowing21 wrote:I still see you haven't fixed the run on sentences in the history, can you please get to this.
fine , point the problems and ill see what I can do
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:24 pm

Ty and its pretty much everything that's a run on from when I stopped the example.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:27 pm

zerowing21 wrote:Ty and its pretty much everything that's a run on from when I stopped the example.
like given space, periods and that's it
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:29 pm

Yes please.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:31 pm

zerowing21 wrote:Yes please.
fair enough
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  Professor Utonium on Wed Apr 18, 2018 9:56 am

Can you elaborate on why his strengths are strengths, and also why his weaknesses are weaknesses?

Can you also explain how Mace ends up accidentally spying on the KND? What puts him in this situation, and how does he feel about it?

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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Wed May 30, 2018 5:04 pm

Professor Utonium wrote:Can you elaborate on why his strengths are strengths, and also why his weaknesses are weaknesses?

Can you also explain how Mace ends up accidentally spying on the KND? What puts him in this situation, and how does he feel about it?
ok
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  Mr.Didathing on Thu May 31, 2018 5:46 pm

By "bumps into things" I assume you mean he's clumsy. If so, why does that not effect him in battle?
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Fri Jun 01, 2018 7:08 pm

Mr.Didathing wrote:By "bumps into things" I assume you mean he's clumsy.  If so, why does that not effect him in battle?
only when not in combat
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  Mr.Didathing on Sun Jun 24, 2018 10:14 pm

Wouldn't that be something that pops up in combat though? Why in some situations and not others? Apologies for the late response.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Mon Jun 25, 2018 10:16 pm

Mr.Didathing wrote:Wouldn't that be something that pops up in combat though?  Why in some situations and not others?  Apologies for the late response.
its ok, well i think it would make sense in some ways
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  Mr.Didathing on Tue Jul 03, 2018 10:27 pm

You're gonna have to expand on what that means. Is it a matter of focus for him?
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Wed Jul 04, 2018 12:32 am

Ok, yea
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  Professor Utonium on Sat Jul 07, 2018 5:36 pm

Could you flesh out his personality a tad more? Why does he have these traits, and how do they help him in life?

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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Mon Aug 13, 2018 9:55 pm

Professor Utonium wrote:Could you flesh out his personality a tad more? Why does he have these traits, and how do they help him in life?
OK, what do you have a idea, I want to learn from the best
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Re: Mace warrior

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