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Mace warrior

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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 7:28 pm

It means thank you.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 7:28 pm

zerowing21 wrote:It means thank you.
oh, your welcome,
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 7:29 pm

Would it be possible to make the history not a long runon sentence please.

Also, I'd like more of his life outside the KND and what not. The history feels more summery than a history.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 7:38 pm

zerowing21 wrote:Would it be possible to make the history not a long runon sentence please.

Also, I'd like more of his life outside the KND and what not. The history feels more summery than a history.
ok, what do you sugesst
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 7:39 pm

At this point, It has to be what you think would fit. I can not suggest everything for your oc. Just be creative, I have faith in ya.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 7:42 pm

zerowing21 wrote:At this point, It has to be what you think would fit. I can not suggest everything for your oc. Just be creative, I have faith in ya.
ok, i just want short,sweet, and to the ponit but i like the suggetions, i guess that's i could think of
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  Mr.Didathing on Sat Sep 16, 2017 7:48 pm

Did someone say suggestions?  I have those!

Why was he spying on the KND?
What's his relationship with sector V actually like beyond just being friends? Ditto his parents.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 7:50 pm

Mr.Didathing wrote:Did someone say suggestions?  I have those!

Why was he spying on the KND?
What's his relationship with sector V actually like beyond just being friends?
How did he fake his decommissioning?  Are the KND aware it was faked or do they believe he's still decommissioned?
oh hey there, well i think i did enough
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  Mr.Didathing on Sat Sep 16, 2017 7:51 pm

Just saying, if you wanna expand something, that's what I'd focus on.

Also, the way you describe him freezing up in battle sounds like he might have PTSD. It'd be interesting if there was an explanation for that.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 7:56 pm

Mr.Didathing wrote:Just saying, if you wanna expand something, that's what I'd focus on.

Also, the way you describe him freezing up in battle sounds like he might have PTSD.  It'd be interesting if there was an explanation for that.
i know, he been though heck and he seen a lot battles, so yea have ptsd
but anyways i think im ready
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 8:05 pm

What kind of event or mission would have made him develop his PTSD then. Please add this into the history since its imperative to his development. Maybe he developed it due to something dealing with the delightful children.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 8:10 pm

zerowing21 wrote:What kind of event or mission would have made him develop his PTSD then. Please add this into the history since its imperative to his development. Maybe he developed it due to something dealing with the delightful children.
it was the mission that he had before decomissioning,he sees he's teammates knocked out
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  Mr.Didathing on Sat Sep 16, 2017 8:11 pm

Maybe put the details of that mission in his history; what were they trying to do and why, etc.

Not to impose, but whether or not you're ready is ultimately down to us.

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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 8:14 pm

What was happening on that mission? There might be something that triggers the PTSD that caused them to be knocked out. And as Mrdidthing said, please put these details into the history.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 8:31 pm

Mr.Didathing wrote:Maybe put the details of that mission in his history; what were they trying to do and why, etc.

Not to impose, but whether or not you're ready is ultimately down to us.

ok, they corrupt the sector v to be like them, so he fought them and brought them back to normal but he never been thought and he won't ever again, he had nightmares
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 8:33 pm

Who corrupted Sector V? If you mean the delightfuls, then that means they were put into delightfulization chambers.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 8:36 pm

zerowing21 wrote:Who corrupted Sector V? If you mean the delightfuls, then that means they were put into delightfulization chambers.
yes,
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 8:38 pm

Alright then, Please add this entire event into the history.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 8:48 pm

zerowing21 wrote:Alright then, Please add this entire event into the history.
i made it
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 8:53 pm

I think a longer explanation of what happened with the final KND mission would be better than a brief summary. I feel like you could add more meat to the bone to flesh him out.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 9:02 pm

zerowing21 wrote:I think a longer explanation of what happened with the final KND mission would be better than a brief summary. I feel like you could add more meat to the bone to flesh him out.
ok, he trying to get his friends back by shooting the machine and they revert back
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 9:26 pm

That's a start, but set up the reason why tehy were captured and everything. Show us what happened don't just tell us it happened in a brief blurb.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 9:32 pm

zerowing21 wrote:That's a start, but set up the reason why tehy were captured and everything. Show us what happened don't just tell us it happened in a brief blurb.
because of the events of Z.E.R.O, they realeze they can transform other knd members, but sector v because they are releted to #1
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 9:34 pm

That's a start, but don't tell me, write everything in the history.
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Re: Mace warrior

Post  fusionfallfan1995 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 9:49 pm

zerowing21 wrote:That's a start, but don't tell me, write everything in the history.
got it
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Re: Mace warrior

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